first of all i want to say sorry if this is necro-ing. trying to reflect on saying sorry so much because i think at times it kind of degrades the value which in turn is something im feeling sorry about. like i know sometimes when i say sorry its not actually using the word sorry the right way. i think at this point appending sorry to things is like this reflexive thing. i have this predisposition to feeling out of place or that i like need to justify myself for being somewhere like in a conversation, and then sorry just comes out. so its not always like im sorry about the thing that ive said more so sorry about having entered somewhere or sorry about inserting myself without the right cause. like i'd rather be 'safe' now than sorry later on for messing something up...
so that kind of explains times where ive just randomly appended sorry to a statement. and i know its not really beneficial at all, in fact just throwing sorry at the end of a sentence just makes the statement before seem more floaty or non-committal or seem like something im not sorry about. then being sorry kind of evolved and there have also been times where i have just played into that concept like an in-joke and will say sorry over basically nothing, or invent something to be sorry about that nobody would have actually been hurt by. and then eventually repeating sorry so much probably just looks like a mockery of the concept. but i hope people can believe me when i say there are of course times when i am genuinely sorry about something or at the very least sorry for myself in some way. like i know i'll say sorry so much and it will seem really ironic but its not like i dont think people should never feel sorry about their own actions or be able to own up to their mistakes. so even when i say sorry about something and it seems trivial its usually for something that ive actually come back to think about and felt at least a bit sorry for, but maybe having actually said sorry for something minor is an overreaction. so there will be times where saying sorry is this like funny thing but i also want to convey there will be cases where its time to reign it back and be sorry in more meaningful ways. so i hope i can work on making it more clear when im seriously sorry or feeling bad about something, or find some way to point out when there is less irony in saying sorry.
im sorry if this last bit has been kind of hard to parse. i think the short version is that i have used sorry in kind of ironic ways but that does not mean i want to discredit myself or others when they actually are sorry about things and try to heal others instead of hurt. i think if saying sorry is parodying anything - it would be those who say sorry about things and never actually mean it, who just say sorry online and then make no commitment to change. sorry this post was so long