jacking off in an airplane bathroom while thinking about what kind of persona you would most naturally fit into as a member of a boy band
sitting completely motionless in your room after your mom grounded you from playing xbox because you threw too many full super soakers at the neighbor’s kid
leaving Target without buying anything because when the cashier asked “how are you today” you said “Thank you Mother, I Love You”
wearing three pairs of glasses at once so you could look directly at the sun during the eclipse without people making you feel all guilty about it
arguing with people on gameFAQs whether or not Mario is circumcised and how that would affect his political affiliations if he was legally considered a US citizen
drinking Dr. McGillicutty’s Peppermint Schnapps out of a Dr. Pepper 10 bottle at a showing of X-Men: The Last Stand just to finally feel something for once in your life
drinking a cool glass of RC Cola while your parents realized they needed to get a divorce in the living room
watching Seinfeld and loudly saying “Oh my god... these guys are just saying what we’ve all been thinking” to whoever is in the house with you at any given moment
making homemade peanuts using little else than Salt, Pancake Mix, and a little bit of ingenuity and integrity
developing the world’s first “solid margarita” and giving all of your dumbest friends Alcohol Poisoning
find out something that happens in Animal House that isn’t creepy and write it down here
downloading a 100 GB 4K Blu-Ray rip of Reservoir Dogs over the course of two weeks, watching 10 minutes of it and then deleting it because it was “too loud”
waking up at the crack of dawn because one of your roosters just said “It’s time to get up, soldier” in a fully grown man’s voice
storming the SNL stage, knocking out the host, and playing the entirety of Tool’s “Lateralus” from your phone speakers into the closest available microphone
getting high with all the rowdiest dudes in your life and brainstorming ideas for a new pornography magazine that “even regular people can respect”
watching Kiss’s “Unplugged” concert on YouTube and commenting “wow... even people who were make up can make something of themselfs (sic)”
developing a new cardinal direction “Garth” that will lead to “unprecedented changes in the cartography meta”
sitting completely motionless in your room after your mom grounded you from playing xbox because you threw too many full super soakers at the neighbor’s kid
leaving Target without buying anything because when the cashier asked “how are you today” you said “Thank you Mother, I Love You”
wearing three pairs of glasses at once so you could look directly at the sun during the eclipse without people making you feel all guilty about it
arguing with people on gameFAQs whether or not Mario is circumcised and how that would affect his political affiliations if he was legally considered a US citizen
drinking Dr. McGillicutty’s Peppermint Schnapps out of a Dr. Pepper 10 bottle at a showing of X-Men: The Last Stand just to finally feel something for once in your life
drinking a cool glass of RC Cola while your parents realized they needed to get a divorce in the living room
watching Seinfeld and loudly saying “Oh my god... these guys are just saying what we’ve all been thinking” to whoever is in the house with you at any given moment
making homemade peanuts using little else than Salt, Pancake Mix, and a little bit of ingenuity and integrity
developing the world’s first “solid margarita” and giving all of your dumbest friends Alcohol Poisoning
find out something that happens in Animal House that isn’t creepy and write it down here
downloading a 100 GB 4K Blu-Ray rip of Reservoir Dogs over the course of two weeks, watching 10 minutes of it and then deleting it because it was “too loud”
waking up at the crack of dawn because one of your roosters just said “It’s time to get up, soldier” in a fully grown man’s voice
storming the SNL stage, knocking out the host, and playing the entirety of Tool’s “Lateralus” from your phone speakers into the closest available microphone
getting high with all the rowdiest dudes in your life and brainstorming ideas for a new pornography magazine that “even regular people can respect”
watching Kiss’s “Unplugged” concert on YouTube and commenting “wow... even people who were make up can make something of themselfs (sic)”
developing a new cardinal direction “Garth” that will lead to “unprecedented changes in the cartography meta”
18 x