making fun of the new sony handheld thread

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25 May 2023, 00:19 #138501
sony has a very good track record when it comes to making handheld playstation systems. the psp was a really cool little system i'll always be nostalgic for, and the playstation vita is a brilliant handheld that was abandoned by Sony although hackers would soon unlock its full potential. I love these systems both very much so imagine my surprise when they announce a new handheld! In a world where the Switch and Steam Deck are reigning supreme, it's a tough market. so i wonder what sony will do to try and bite back!

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oh! it looks horrendous! and worst of all... it's a streaming handheld. this thing's only purpose is to stream from your PS5 to the handheld and play the games that way. If you don't own a PS5 this thing does nothing for you. You get the same experience if you get the remote play app on your phone and connect a ps5 controller to your phone. man in my psvita shaped heart this thing is a massive letdown. So I've made this thread for us all to make fun of it. Imagine it's one of those reddit dot com roast me threads but we're roasting the new sony handheld.
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25 May 2023, 00:26 #138502
It looks like one of those fake consoles concept you'd see online in 2010
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25 May 2023, 00:49 #138503
The Sony Hand Held seems pretty useful to me, as a person who has never held hands.
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25 May 2023, 01:09 #138504
looks pretty bad. i wish sega was still around, i bet they'd come up with something really crazy
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25 May 2023, 15:59 #138520
i certainly won't be buying it! (i don't have any money)
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25 May 2023, 17:35 #138522
whats bad about this is i think if someone hit me with it id be hurt pretty bad
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25 May 2023, 17:48 #138523
it is frightening
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25 May 2023, 19:25 #138524
i saw a guy throw one of these things in australia. it circled back around in the air and hit him in the head [RIP]
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26 May 2023, 02:25 #138532
the ps5 has no games and two devices
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26 May 2023, 03:52 #138536
im too distracted by the picture of an explosion in the, thumbnail to respommd to this thread. like what if a delicately lethal little fragment of glass is propelled straight into my unguarded neck and I bleed out all over, @malbeque 's imported new jersean rug. lol. well at that point id be in whatever you belived is the afterlife. so belive in a good one for ol warlock
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26 May 2023, 05:08 #138541
spencethebence wrote:
25 May 2023, 00:26
It looks like one of those fake consoles concept you'd see online in 2010
let the bodies hit the floor

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26 May 2023, 06:37 #138543
The ergonomics on this thing looks terrible. First console to look like it could bite someone and drain their blood.
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26 May 2023, 06:38 #138544
I think you could weightlift with this thing. Getting gaymers to exercise.
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26 May 2023, 23:17 #138558
WeekendWarlock wrote:
26 May 2023, 03:52
im too distracted by the picture of an explosion in the, thumbnail to respommd to this thread. like what if a delicately lethal little fragment of glass is propelled straight into my unguarded neck and I bleed out all over, @malbeque 's imported new jersean rug. lol. well at that point id be in whatever you belived is the afterlife. so belive in a good one for ol warlock
i have a rug from new jersey?
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27 May 2023, 00:13 #138559
malbeque wrote:
26 May 2023, 23:17
WeekendWarlock wrote:
26 May 2023, 03:52
im too distracted by the picture of an explosion in the, thumbnail to respommd to this thread. like what if a delicately lethal little fragment of glass is propelled straight into my unguarded neck and I bleed out all over, @malbeque 's imported new jersean rug. lol. well at that point id be in whatever you belived is the afterlife. so belive in a good one for ol warlock
i have a rug from new jersey?
just a baseless hunch. a complete shot in the dark
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27 May 2023, 01:18 #138560
This thing is called the Playstation Q because the Q is for question and everyone's questioning why this thing exists
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29 May 2023, 00:10 #138669
WeekendWarlock wrote:
27 May 2023, 00:13
malbeque wrote:
26 May 2023, 23:17
WeekendWarlock wrote:
26 May 2023, 03:52
im too distracted by the picture of an explosion in the, thumbnail to respommd to this thread. like what if a delicately lethal little fragment of glass is propelled straight into my unguarded neck and I bleed out all over, @malbeque 's imported new jersean rug. lol. well at that point id be in whatever you belived is the afterlife. so belive in a good one for ol warlock
i have a rug from new jersey?
just a baseless hunch. a complete shot in the dark
one would think a warlock could do better!
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29 May 2023, 12:04 #138678
malbeque wrote:
29 May 2023, 00:10
WeekendWarlock wrote:
27 May 2023, 00:13
malbeque wrote:
26 May 2023, 23:17


i have a rug from new jersey?
just a baseless hunch. a complete shot in the dark
one would think a warlock could do better!
well.. did you check all the rugs
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23 Aug 2023, 21:23 #141843
okay so new info has been announced for this thing

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It's now known as the Playstation Portal

It will launch later this year

It will cost 200$

Who in their right mind is going to spend 200 dollars on this thing?? for 30$ you could get a grip for your phone and do remote play that way! For 200$ you could get a Switch Lite and have an actual handheld system. This thing feels like an outright scam.
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23 Aug 2023, 21:30 #141844
(trying really hard to come up with a sick quip) playstation portal? more like playstation p- port.. porta... porta potty, because it is poop to me
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23 Aug 2023, 23:51 #141850
Remember the next time someone mentions "individual carbon footprint" that Sony announced an intention to release a product with promotional material regarding it's functionality that reads "it's pretty much e-waste" and nobody managed to stop them.
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24 Aug 2023, 02:20 #141854
the only modern handheld i actually support getting is a switch, and only because it has pretty decent modding potential. i had my switch for three years before i modded it, and i only played on it once a month or so. since i modded it, it gets used every few days (mostly for pokemmo) and occasionally ill actually play a switch game. Its got great retro emulation potential, mine can run pretty much any console up to the ps2 and pretty much any handheld up to the 3ds.
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24 Aug 2023, 03:50 #141859
i would just buy a new computer instead
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24 Aug 2023, 04:58 #141869
Someone in the office at PLAYSTATION HQ got real bored and started breaking controllers and laptops in half. In amongst the rubble and e-carnage, their gaze landed upon a laptop screen cupped harshly by the split halves of a single controller. And upon this visage, brought forth a new idea to all; what if they made a knock-off bootleg switch that sucked shit.
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