George walks in to Jerry's apartment, visibly frustrated.
GEORGE
You’ll never guess what happened just now, Jerry.
George sits on Jerry’s couch and buries his head in his hands, despondent.
GEORGE
So I was on the train, reading the orb on my phone...
JERRY
Again with the orb, George?
GEORGE
It’s a nice place to chill, Jerry! It's some low-stakes fun at the end of my workday. And... I gotta tell you, they say some really funny stuff on there.
JERRY
(hands in the air)
Alright, alright.
GEORGE
So… anyway, I’m browsing the orb, and there’s an announcement at the top of the page.
JERRY
An announcement? What do they have to announce?
GEORGE
I don’t know. People announce things, it happens.
JERRY
(taking a sip of coffee)
I guess it takes all kinds.
GEORGE
Anyway, I click on the announcement. Now I expect to see some text about something changing with the site or someone died or ... something! At the very least, I’m expecting something that would actually qualify as an announcement!
JERRY
Well why wouldn’t you?
GEORGE
You’d think, oh, you’d think! But the first post I see is just a picture of an incredibly wet man.
JERRY
(gesticulating for George to go on)
The man who looks like he’s been coated in oil, right, right...
GEORGE
And you’re never gonna believe this, but… the woman beside me picked that SPLIT SECOND to look over at my phone... and she made direct eye contact with the wet man.
JERRY
(in disbelief)
No...
GEORGE
I mean it's rude to look at someone's phone ANYWAY, isn't it Jerry? It's just not something you do to a stranger! ISN’T IT A BREACH OF SOCIAL PROTOCOL?
GEORGE
You’ll never guess what happened just now, Jerry.
JERRY
Well?
Well?
George sits on Jerry’s couch and buries his head in his hands, despondent.
GEORGE
So I was on the train, reading the orb on my phone...
JERRY
Again with the orb, George?
GEORGE
It’s a nice place to chill, Jerry! It's some low-stakes fun at the end of my workday. And... I gotta tell you, they say some really funny stuff on there.
JERRY
(hands in the air)
Alright, alright.
GEORGE
So… anyway, I’m browsing the orb, and there’s an announcement at the top of the page.
JERRY
An announcement? What do they have to announce?
GEORGE
I don’t know. People announce things, it happens.
JERRY
(taking a sip of coffee)
I guess it takes all kinds.
GEORGE
Anyway, I click on the announcement. Now I expect to see some text about something changing with the site or someone died or ... something! At the very least, I’m expecting something that would actually qualify as an announcement!
JERRY
Well why wouldn’t you?
GEORGE
You’d think, oh, you’d think! But the first post I see is just a picture of an incredibly wet man.
JERRY
(gesticulating for George to go on)
The man who looks like he’s been coated in oil, right, right...
GEORGE
And you’re never gonna believe this, but… the woman beside me picked that SPLIT SECOND to look over at my phone... and she made direct eye contact with the wet man.
JERRY
(in disbelief)
No...
GEORGE
I mean it's rude to look at someone's phone ANYWAY, isn't it Jerry? It's just not something you do to a stranger! ISN’T IT A BREACH OF SOCIAL PROTOCOL?
17 x