kids these days are so addicted to their damn phones. whatever happened to

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08 Feb 2021, 19:22 #88017
jacking off in an airplane bathroom while thinking about what kind of persona you would most naturally fit into as a member of a boy band

sitting completely motionless in your room after your mom grounded you from playing xbox because you threw too many full super soakers at the neighbor’s kid

leaving Target without buying anything because when the cashier asked “how are you today” you said “Thank you Mother, I Love You”

wearing three pairs of glasses at once so you could look directly at the sun during the eclipse without people making you feel all guilty about it

arguing with people on gameFAQs whether or not Mario is circumcised and how that would affect his political affiliations if he was legally considered a US citizen

drinking Dr. McGillicutty’s Peppermint Schnapps out of a Dr. Pepper 10 bottle at a showing of X-Men: The Last Stand just to finally feel something for once in your life

drinking a cool glass of RC Cola while your parents realized they needed to get a divorce in the living room

watching Seinfeld and loudly saying “Oh my god... these guys are just saying what we’ve all been thinking” to whoever is in the house with you at any given moment

making homemade peanuts using little else than Salt, Pancake Mix, and a little bit of ingenuity and integrity

developing the world’s first “solid margarita” and giving all of your dumbest friends Alcohol Poisoning

find out something that happens in Animal House that isn’t creepy and write it down here

downloading a 100 GB 4K Blu-Ray rip of Reservoir Dogs over the course of two weeks, watching 10 minutes of it and then deleting it because it was “too loud”

waking up at the crack of dawn because one of your roosters just said “It’s time to get up, soldier” in a fully grown man’s voice

storming the SNL stage, knocking out the host, and playing the entirety of Tool’s “Lateralus” from your phone speakers into the closest available microphone

getting high with all the rowdiest dudes in your life and brainstorming ideas for a new pornography magazine that “even regular people can respect”

watching Kiss’s “Unplugged” concert on YouTube and commenting “wow... even people who were make up can make something of themselfs (sic)”

developing a new cardinal direction “Garth” that will lead to “unprecedented changes in the cartography meta”
18 x
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08 Feb 2021, 19:40 #88020
The dean expelled them after giving them multiple chances. ain’t nothing creepy about that, just an honest man doing his job
8 x
Another successful post 👍
~~~and if you said this life ain’t good enough, i would give my world to lift you up ~~~
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08 Feb 2021, 19:44 #88022
twiztedpimp wrote:
08 Feb 2021, 19:40
The dean expelled them after giving them multiple chances. ain’t nothing creepy about that, just an honest man doing his job
just goes to show... “The More Things Change The More They Also Stay The Same”
6 x
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08 Feb 2021, 19:54 #88024
where were you when you saw @PaulRuddOfficial's power post? I remember i was sitting at my deska nd the whole world stopped while i read the whole thing in its entirety, taking each line in like a tasty morsel.
9 x

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08 Feb 2021, 22:43 #88068
hmmmm, its hard to pick..
they all look so good!

okay I guess I'll have......this one
PaulRuddOfficial wrote:
08 Feb 2021, 19:22
waking up at the crack of dawn because one of your roosters just said “It’s time to get up, soldier” in a fully grown man’s voice
4 x
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08 Feb 2021, 22:47 #88069
What ever happened to predictability?
The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
(There's a heart)
There's a heart
A hand to hold onto
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
There's a face
Of somebody who needs you
Everywhere you look
When you're lost out there and you're all alone
A light is waiting to carry you home
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you look
6 x
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09 Feb 2021, 01:40 #88107
spencethebence wrote:
08 Feb 2021, 22:47
What ever happened to predictability?
The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
(There's a heart)
There's a heart
A hand to hold onto
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
There's a face
Of somebody who needs you
Everywhere you look
When you're lost out there and you're all alone
A light is waiting to carry you home
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you look
finally someone tells it like it is
4 x
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09 Feb 2021, 01:46 #88110
well that's what i come on here to the orb for. all that and more
3 x
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this poster is a fool
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23 Feb 2021, 08:14 #92588
unfairly overlooked. the Reservoir Dogs download thing might be my favorite joke i’ve ever written
2 x
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23 Feb 2021, 08:49 #92589
PaulRuddOfficial wrote:
23 Feb 2021, 08:14
unfairly overlooked. the Reservoir Dogs download thing might be my favorite joke i’ve ever written
nobodies responding because you cant improve on perfect
2 x
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23 Feb 2021, 09:35 #92590
PaulRuddOfficial wrote:
08 Feb 2021, 19:22
downloading a 100 GB 4K Blu-Ray rip of Reservoir Dogs over the course of two weeks, watching 10 minutes of it and then deleting it because it was “too loud”
this reminds me of one time in high school i downloaded a 50 GB torrent of the sailor moon anime and was so excited to watch it, because my slow ass internet meant that took days

but it turned out it was the english dub only. like the really crap one. i deleted it after 10 minutes.
2 x
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23 Feb 2021, 11:19 #92599
Printing this off and sending it to my maybe possibly deceased high school orchestra teacher with a sticky note on it that says “yore next”
3 x
hanging out with mr H3nry L3f3b
Pollster of the year, 2020 and 2021.
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